Waiting

Waiting sucks. My last IUI was on Thursday and my pregnancy test is on September 2nd. I wouldn't really consider two weeks a long time normally but this two week wait to find out if fertility treatment worked is excruciatingly long. Hours seem to drag on as I wait and wait and wait for September 2nd to come. In the meantime I am far more in tune with my body than I have ever really been. I pay attention to every little twinge thinking it might be an early pregnancy symptom. I have endlessly googled pregnancy symptoms after IUI, IUI success stories and so on. Even though I know it is impossible to feel any kind of symptom until implantation (which takes place about 8 days post IUI) I still am monitoring every feeling. Besides that, I think I might be going crazy. The only thing that is on my mind is the question - could I be pregnant? I had to pick up some prescriptions at CVS this weekend and I had to restrain myself from going down the family planning aisle or I probably would have bought 20 home pregnancy tests.

I was talking with a woman at my fertile yoga class who told me that she would test through her Hcg meaning that from the day she took that injection she was doing home pregnancy tests. At first to monitor the injection and to see when the drug was out of her system (since it would cause a false positive) and then every day after the Hcg was out of her system she would test knowing that a positive would be a real one. I think doing that might make me more crazy than I already am but at the same time I totally get it and even contemplated doing it myself. To test or not to test? Apparently, that is the question. At least it gives you something to do during this awful waiting period. But honestly, I'm a little scared to do it at all. Maybe I'll just wait.

This morning I went in to get blood drawn to check my hormones (estrogen and progesterone). I'm assuming I'll get a call later this afternoon from my (new) nurse letting me know how my levels are and if I need to go on a progesterone supplement. I feel better when there is something for me to do. An appointment to go to or anything related to my treatment. Some people just want to forget about it and keep themselves busy with work or other distractions but that really doesn't work for me. Even when I try to keep myself distracted with non-fertility stuff there it is, in the (not so) back of my mind. I was thinking this morning as I drove to my blood draw appointment at the RE office that I would be happy to just stay at the doctor's office for my entire two week wait. I know. I'm crazy. I guess that just is how it is going to be for now as I (not so) patiently wait for September 2nd. Only 10 more days to go...