Injection

This morning I woke up early and was both excited and nervous at the same time. Today was the day I had to give myself the Ovidrel (trigger shot) injection. My nurse told me that if I felt like I couldn't do it myself I could go into the office and someone would give it to me and I asked my mom to be available also to give it to me if I chickened out. Honestly though, I really wanted to do it myself. I knew that it would be difficult for me to do and at one point I would have said it would be impossible for me to do but I think I am learning that we are all capable of a lot more than we know. I guess I wanted to feel that accomplishment, satisfaction of overcoming something and being able to do something that I did not want to do for a greater end result. I'm not sure if any of this is making sence but for me it was a big thing and I did it! I am proud of myself and feel a little victory in this whole mess of infertility. It was not easy though.



After I woke up I took the injection out of its home in my refrigerator to thaw a little on my kitchen counter. I prepared the alchohol pads, and the sharps container and got a band-aid from the bathroom cabinet. I needed some more time so I took a shower and got myself ready for the day. I was nervous but I knew that even if it hurt a lot it is worth it and it is just a moment of pain for a chance at a child. So I stood there at my kitchen counter, unwrapped the needle and pulled off the cap (I was scared that I was going to break it). I remembered the instructions taht my nurse gave me the day before and I tapped the side of the seringe to get the air to the top and then pushed the plunger up a little to get rid of the air. I pushed so slowly because I didn;t want any of the medication to come out of the top but I also didn't want to inject the air into my body so I pushed it up until just the tiniest drop peeked out of the tiny tip of the needle. I was scared, hands shaking. I prayed to God that Jesus would give me the courage and the stregnth to do what I didn't think I could. I paused for a minute more and pinched the lower left side of my stomachbetween my thumb and forefinger. I decided I was just going to touch the needle to my skin so I could feel how much it pinched. It pinched a little but really not too bad and I pushed the rest of the needle into my stomach. It was strange to see myself do this because when I am getting a shot or blood drawn at the Dr. office I can't even look but I did and it was no big deal at the moment. It felt like it almost was not happening. The inital pinch hurt the most but I honstly can't even really remember it now only a couple of hours later. I pushed the plunger in slowly releasing the medication into my stomach, making sure that I got all of it in, pulled out the needle and dropped it into the sharps container. The sound of the empty needle in the container felt like an accomplishment for me. I had done something I didn't think that I could and it wasn't even as bad as I thought. Hopefully now the injection does its job and my follicle will release an egg to be fertilized later this week after one of my IUIs scheduled for Wednesday and Thursday. I can't wait. I have great feelings about all this and will wait with hope in my heart for my pregnancy test on September 2nd. Here we go...