Tomorrow I will meet my babies. I have waited a really, really long time to say that. It still doesn't seem real, maybe it never will. I can't think of anything I have waited longer for in my life. All that time seems to make the coming of tomorrow that much more unreal but as I sit here confined to a hospital room with nurses coming in and out all day I have to know something is coming. I have had all this time of waiting for what tomorrow will be, so why do I feel unprepared? Why can't I believe what is actually happening? It feels like a dream. I have dreamt about what it would be like to see the little faces of my babies for years, what they would look like and how much joy I would feel as I instantly fell in love. Is that day actually almost here? Is that how I will feel tomorrow? I am stuck in a whirlwind of emotions about tomorrow. I know I am not in control but I just want everything to go well. I want an uneventful surgery, as smooth a recovery as can be and most of all I want happy, healthy babies.
Tomorrow will be the end of what has been a very long road, full of some of the most painful, broken and trying times I have been through, things that tested my character, marriage and faith but also, this road has offered some of the happiest memories I have so far, has proven to me that with God, my husband and family I can get through really dark days and they will all be there to rejoice with me once the storm clouds pass. I know how it feels to ache for something and then feel the immense blessing when it is satisfied. I also know that not everyone is as fortunate as I have been.
Even as tomorrow marks the end of one road it is only the beginning of another. Tomorrow will be the beginning of life on earth for my two sweet babies and the beginning of Shawn and I as parents, our parents as grandparents, our siblings as aunts and uncles, new roles and relationships for the rest of our lives.
For now, I'll enjoy the last times I'll feel you kick and wiggle inside my womb, I can't wait to meet you my sweet little ones and for all that tomorrow has in store for our future.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Hospital stay #3
A quick update on what has been going on the past few days...
Tuesday - I had a NST and a Doppler study ultrasound scheduled at the MFM at the hospital for 2:30. The ultrasound went great and everything with the babies looked wonderful as always. During my NST though, they were taking my blood pressure and it was high. At the end of the appointment they sent me up to labor & delivery because my OB was there and she wanted me to go on monitors for a while. I was honestly thinking I would be there for a couple hours and be sent home. Thankfully they did not give me an IV. After more blood pressure monitoring and a spot check of my urine they decided to keep me and do another 24 hour pee test, in the hospital because of my elevated pressures. I started the test at 7:00 Tuesday night.
Wednesday - All I did was pee in a bucket and have my bp checked and do NSTs all day. The babies drove the nurses crazy because they are little wiggle worms and wouldn't stay on the monitors. Also, I was having contractions, not painful, just tightening and at one point they were about every 5 minutes being picked up by the NST machine. Late Wednesday evening we got the results back from the pee test. 457. Too high. I was told that my doctors would have to discuss everything and come up with a plan. I was still hoping they would let me go home.
Thursday - With blood pressures still high through Wednesday night and into Thursday morning they were not about to let ,e go home, especially seeing as protein was also showing up in my urine. Officially I have pre-eclampsia. One of the OBs came in to tell me that they have scheduled me for a c-section on Monday morning and that I will be in the hospital for monitoring until then. Yay for meeting my babies and at least for making it to 36 weeks and 1 day but a big Boo for having to stay in the hospital... I had more monitoring that afternoon and got to go up and take a tour of the NICU. I saw tiny babies and met some of the nurses up there and got to ask questions and generally see how things work up there. It was a little overwhelming but good overall and there is even a possibility that our babies might not need to go there so we'll just have to wait and see for now. My pressures were super high the restof the evening like 170/100 high. The doctors and nurses were not happy.
Friday (today) - Overnight my pressures went down and have been relatively ok for today, much lower than yesterday. I am however getting really homesick. I miss being at home, I miss my Henry and most of all I miss my husband. It is weird to think that next time I am at home it will be with babies, my life is going to be totally and completely changed come Monday. I kind of wish I had just one more day at home how we were. I have wanted this for so long that I know it is strange to say but I do. I guess because I expected to have some more time at home, but if I should expect anything with this pregnancy I should have known to expect the unexpected and honestly, it's ok, more than ok. Somehow, I am getting everything and more than I ever wanted.
Tuesday - I had a NST and a Doppler study ultrasound scheduled at the MFM at the hospital for 2:30. The ultrasound went great and everything with the babies looked wonderful as always. During my NST though, they were taking my blood pressure and it was high. At the end of the appointment they sent me up to labor & delivery because my OB was there and she wanted me to go on monitors for a while. I was honestly thinking I would be there for a couple hours and be sent home. Thankfully they did not give me an IV. After more blood pressure monitoring and a spot check of my urine they decided to keep me and do another 24 hour pee test, in the hospital because of my elevated pressures. I started the test at 7:00 Tuesday night.
Wednesday - All I did was pee in a bucket and have my bp checked and do NSTs all day. The babies drove the nurses crazy because they are little wiggle worms and wouldn't stay on the monitors. Also, I was having contractions, not painful, just tightening and at one point they were about every 5 minutes being picked up by the NST machine. Late Wednesday evening we got the results back from the pee test. 457. Too high. I was told that my doctors would have to discuss everything and come up with a plan. I was still hoping they would let me go home.
Thursday - With blood pressures still high through Wednesday night and into Thursday morning they were not about to let ,e go home, especially seeing as protein was also showing up in my urine. Officially I have pre-eclampsia. One of the OBs came in to tell me that they have scheduled me for a c-section on Monday morning and that I will be in the hospital for monitoring until then. Yay for meeting my babies and at least for making it to 36 weeks and 1 day but a big Boo for having to stay in the hospital... I had more monitoring that afternoon and got to go up and take a tour of the NICU. I saw tiny babies and met some of the nurses up there and got to ask questions and generally see how things work up there. It was a little overwhelming but good overall and there is even a possibility that our babies might not need to go there so we'll just have to wait and see for now. My pressures were super high the restof the evening like 170/100 high. The doctors and nurses were not happy.
Friday (today) - Overnight my pressures went down and have been relatively ok for today, much lower than yesterday. I am however getting really homesick. I miss being at home, I miss my Henry and most of all I miss my husband. It is weird to think that next time I am at home it will be with babies, my life is going to be totally and completely changed come Monday. I kind of wish I had just one more day at home how we were. I have wanted this for so long that I know it is strange to say but I do. I guess because I expected to have some more time at home, but if I should expect anything with this pregnancy I should have known to expect the unexpected and honestly, it's ok, more than ok. Somehow, I am getting everything and more than I ever wanted.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Nursery Progress
I think I might actually be done or at least super close to done with the nursery :)
35/35
And yesterday was supposed to be day 3 but I failed. Oh well.
Today I am officially 35 weeks pregnant with only 35 days to go to my due date. Of course with twins I definitely don't have 35 days to go since full term for twins is 37 weeks instead of 40 for a singleton and my doctors wouldn't even let me get to 40 weeks if the babies decided to stay in that long anyways.
I still haven't finished the nursery and put up the wall decal but maybe I'll get around to it today. All I managed to do yesterday was sleep, I was so tired all day long and took more than my fair share of naps, actually it was wonderful.
I am hoping after the doppler studies on Tuesday I will know a little more about when we will get to meet our twins. Also hoping that we will have enough time before then to get everything straightened out with turning in our Jetta so we can get the new car and install carseats...There really is a lot to do, I should stop procrastinating before I run out of time.
Today I am officially 35 weeks pregnant with only 35 days to go to my due date. Of course with twins I definitely don't have 35 days to go since full term for twins is 37 weeks instead of 40 for a singleton and my doctors wouldn't even let me get to 40 weeks if the babies decided to stay in that long anyways.
I still haven't finished the nursery and put up the wall decal but maybe I'll get around to it today. All I managed to do yesterday was sleep, I was so tired all day long and took more than my fair share of naps, actually it was wonderful.
I am hoping after the doppler studies on Tuesday I will know a little more about when we will get to meet our twins. Also hoping that we will have enough time before then to get everything straightened out with turning in our Jetta so we can get the new car and install carseats...There really is a lot to do, I should stop procrastinating before I run out of time.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Day 2
My sister just reminded me that I almost failed on day 2 of her challenge. It is late and I am exhausted. I had meant to finish and take pictures of the nursery but that obviously didn't happen...maybe this weekend. What I did do?
I went to the Dr. hoping to find out a scheduled c-section date but instead heard the good news that the babies are doing perfectly according to the latest NST and ultrasound today and they may just like to stay in for a while. Molly even flipped completely around since Tuesday though both are still transverse - I guess that's just how they are comfy. I have an appointment on Tuesday at the hospital for what they call doppler studies. Not sure what those are exactly but I guess I'll find out soon and maybe just maybe I'll get a better idea about when I will finally get to meet my little ones.
After the Dr. appointment I treated myself to what may have been the best pedicure I have gotten yet...I could do that every day...
I went to the Dr. hoping to find out a scheduled c-section date but instead heard the good news that the babies are doing perfectly according to the latest NST and ultrasound today and they may just like to stay in for a while. Molly even flipped completely around since Tuesday though both are still transverse - I guess that's just how they are comfy. I have an appointment on Tuesday at the hospital for what they call doppler studies. Not sure what those are exactly but I guess I'll find out soon and maybe just maybe I'll get a better idea about when I will finally get to meet my little ones.
After the Dr. appointment I treated myself to what may have been the best pedicure I have gotten yet...I could do that every day...
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Challenge
My sister challenged me to write a blog post every day now until the babies are born. It probably won't happen (I guess that depends how soon they come) but I'll try...
Yesterday I went to see about turning in our Jetta lease for a family car for the twins. Hopefully this is something we can get done before they arrive (which could be any day now) but we will see. I think we have decided on a Hyundai Elantra Touring. It is a 4-door hatchback, basically a station wagon. We love our Jetta but it is too small for twins and with strollers and all that baby gear I think we need a bigger trunk.
I am also trying to check off some of my to-dos before the babies arrive. The list is looonnngggg but I am slowly but surely working my way through it. Yesterday I cleaned out and re-organized my kitchen cabinets to make room for all the bottles I washed and sterilized.
On the list for today: I want to go to Target, Home Goods and Whole Foods and put up the wall decal Shawn bought for the nursery. I know it won't all get done but maybe some of it will...
Yesterday I went to see about turning in our Jetta lease for a family car for the twins. Hopefully this is something we can get done before they arrive (which could be any day now) but we will see. I think we have decided on a Hyundai Elantra Touring. It is a 4-door hatchback, basically a station wagon. We love our Jetta but it is too small for twins and with strollers and all that baby gear I think we need a bigger trunk.
I am also trying to check off some of my to-dos before the babies arrive. The list is looonnngggg but I am slowly but surely working my way through it. Yesterday I cleaned out and re-organized my kitchen cabinets to make room for all the bottles I washed and sterilized.
On the list for today: I want to go to Target, Home Goods and Whole Foods and put up the wall decal Shawn bought for the nursery. I know it won't all get done but maybe some of it will...
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
34 Weeks 3 days
I've been meaning to take a belly picture for a while but haven't gotten around to it.
P.S. I'm huge...hopefully this means I'll have nice big babies :)
P.S. I'm huge...hopefully this means I'll have nice big babies :)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
34 Weeks
We had a growth scan yesterday and Molly is measuring 4lb 9oz (up from 3lb 14oz 2 weeks ago) and Max is measuring 5lb 11oz (huge! and up from 4lb 4oz 2 weeks ago). We also found out that Max has hair - you could see it on his little head on the ultrasound :) No pictures though because the little ones were not cooperating...
I had a mini-freak out after the growth scan because I just don't want Molly to be born too small and was worried that Max being so big would push her to be born before she was ready. The doctors don't seem concerned so I am trying to let go of my anxiety about that. I have already made it past 34 weeks which is a great milestone, I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Both babies are still transverse and have been lying head to head on my left side with their feet to my right side.
We also had another NST this morning and all is well with the babies and with me too. My bp was only 130/80 which, for me, is good since my norm has recently been 150/80. Babies have lots of fluid and their heartrates and movements are tracking just as they should. The OB I saw today also said that he will talk with my regular OB about scheduling a c-section date for me. Hopefully I will know more about when exactly that will be at my next appointment on Friday.
I'm getting excited to meet my babies face-to-face. I am just getting more and more ginormous and uncomfortable not to mention exhausted! By the end of the day I am so totally beat and it doesn't help much that sleeping is getting increasingly difficult. I guess it is just my body's way of preparing me to function on little sleep for when the twins finally do arrive.
For some reason I keep avoiding packing my hospital bag; though, with two trips to L&D already under my belt you would think I would have learned my lesson about trying to have my husband pack for me and gotten on that. Maybe I'll work up some extra energy and try to get that done tonight.
I had a mini-freak out after the growth scan because I just don't want Molly to be born too small and was worried that Max being so big would push her to be born before she was ready. The doctors don't seem concerned so I am trying to let go of my anxiety about that. I have already made it past 34 weeks which is a great milestone, I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Both babies are still transverse and have been lying head to head on my left side with their feet to my right side.
We also had another NST this morning and all is well with the babies and with me too. My bp was only 130/80 which, for me, is good since my norm has recently been 150/80. Babies have lots of fluid and their heartrates and movements are tracking just as they should. The OB I saw today also said that he will talk with my regular OB about scheduling a c-section date for me. Hopefully I will know more about when exactly that will be at my next appointment on Friday.
I'm getting excited to meet my babies face-to-face. I am just getting more and more ginormous and uncomfortable not to mention exhausted! By the end of the day I am so totally beat and it doesn't help much that sleeping is getting increasingly difficult. I guess it is just my body's way of preparing me to function on little sleep for when the twins finally do arrive.
For some reason I keep avoiding packing my hospital bag; though, with two trips to L&D already under my belt you would think I would have learned my lesson about trying to have my husband pack for me and gotten on that. Maybe I'll work up some extra energy and try to get that done tonight.
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