Tomorrow I will meet my babies. I have waited a really, really long time to say that. It still doesn't seem real, maybe it never will. I can't think of anything I have waited longer for in my life. All that time seems to make the coming of tomorrow that much more unreal but as I sit here confined to a hospital room with nurses coming in and out all day I have to know something is coming. I have had all this time of waiting for what tomorrow will be, so why do I feel unprepared? Why can't I believe what is actually happening? It feels like a dream. I have dreamt about what it would be like to see the little faces of my babies for years, what they would look like and how much joy I would feel as I instantly fell in love. Is that day actually almost here? Is that how I will feel tomorrow? I am stuck in a whirlwind of emotions about tomorrow. I know I am not in control but I just want everything to go well. I want an uneventful surgery, as smooth a recovery as can be and most of all I want happy, healthy babies.
Tomorrow will be the end of what has been a very long road, full of some of the most painful, broken and trying times I have been through, things that tested my character, marriage and faith but also, this road has offered some of the happiest memories I have so far, has proven to me that with God, my husband and family I can get through really dark days and they will all be there to rejoice with me once the storm clouds pass. I know how it feels to ache for something and then feel the immense blessing when it is satisfied. I also know that not everyone is as fortunate as I have been.
Even as tomorrow marks the end of one road it is only the beginning of another. Tomorrow will be the beginning of life on earth for my two sweet babies and the beginning of Shawn and I as parents, our parents as grandparents, our siblings as aunts and uncles, new roles and relationships for the rest of our lives.
For now, I'll enjoy the last times I'll feel you kick and wiggle inside my womb, I can't wait to meet you my sweet little ones and for all that tomorrow has in store for our future.
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